Mommy guilt starts the moment your second child is born
Little buddy. Baby boy. Goose. These are the nicknames I have for Aiden.
© Submitted photo
Sonya Thorneâ€™s two sons, Aiden and Camryn, snuggle in bed together. Itâ€™s taking a little bit of adjustment, but Aiden is learning to love his little brother.
So out of habit, I have been calling them to my second son, Camryn, too. One day I said to my newborn, in my annoying high-pitched baby voice, â€˜How is my baby boy doing?â€™ and my two-and-a-half-year-old responded, â€˜I'm fine, Mommy.â€™
Of course I didn't let Aiden know that I was actually talking to his brother. However, when he heard me call his brother by another of his nicknames, Goose, he was quick to remind me that that was HIS name and couldn't be Camrynâ€™s too.
He was right.
So we decided together that Camryn would be my little turkey, and he would remain my one and only goose.
A few of the special things that Aiden and I did together before Camryn arrived, I make sure we continue to do now. Like morning snuggles in Mommy and Daddy's bed. For months now, Aiden has been coming into our room when he wakes, crawls in bed next to me and we snuggle and talk and sing nursery rhymes. We both love this time together.
We still do this, however on two separate occasions there has been an extra little body in the bed, in his place, snuggling Mommy.
The first morning didn't go over very well.
To say Aiden had a tantrum was an understatement. He was heartbroken. I felt horrible. Mommy guilt multiplied ten-fold.
The second morning he handled better. He simply frowned, got in bed and we assumed our snuggling position. Of course he made it obvious that he likes having Mommy all to himself, but he shared me anyways.
Another special moment we share is at bedtime when I read Aiden a book, give him a kiss and sing â€˜You Are My Sunshine.â€™ No matter what I am doing, even if I am elbow-deep in a dirty diaper, I stop and go to Aidenâ€™s room.
When I was pregnant with Aiden, I sang â€˜You Are My Sunshineâ€™ to him every single night. He kicked me almost every time. When he was born, I continued to sing it to him and he always reacted to it, proof that he recognized my voice and those words. Itâ€™s our song.
Little does Aiden know, I sang the same song to Camryn while pregnant and got the same kicks. Today when I sing it to Camryn, I get the same reaction as I did from Aiden when he was a baby. It is also our special song.
One day, I was holding Camryn and out of habit I sang this song. I looked up to see Aiden staring at us. I expected tears but there were none. Instead he came over and started singing with me.
At that moment, I felt like it was Aidenâ€™s official acceptance of his little brother. To him, if I could sing that song to Camryn, then I must love Camryn as much as I love him. He may only be two-and-a-half, but heâ€™s smart because heâ€™s right.
We are all doing our best to adjust to the new change in our life. The mommy guilt probably wonâ€™t go away and I imagine there will be as many moments of laughter as there are of tears. Itâ€™s all a part of being a family.
We will figure things out I am sure, but not without the help of morning snuggles, bedtime kisses and special songs.
Sonya Thorne sits at home in Newfoundland with her two-year-old son, Aiden, and newborn, Camryn. The Thorne family expanded on Dec. 16 with Aiden's little brother.