UPPER STEWIACKE - If only they could just understand ...
"I just have a learning disability. I am not a drama queen," a frustrated Holly Shannon says, of the widespread misperception about her lack of social skills and behavioural issues.
"Ever since I was little I was always judged by everyone here and when I went to school I was called the drama queen and no one understood me and I would be scared to go to school every single day. And I'm constantly shunned and no one here wants anything to do with me, or my mom, because I'm a drama queen and they just think I'm a bad girl. It's hard living in a place where you are not accepted and where no one even tries to understand and where you are constantly being bullied and picked on."
Holly, 13, is afflicted with what is known as Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD). The condition is a developmental disability (which often goes undiagnosed) and which involves deficits in perception, co-ordination, socialization, non-verbal problem solving and understanding of humour.
"She doesn't interpret social cues, sort of on the same lines as Asperger (syndrome)," Holly's mother, Angela, says. "Socially, she can't learn in social groups. Everything is literal."
During elementary school, Holly never learned to properly interact with other kids and would often do or say inappropriate things for a given situation.
"Because it's strictly verbal. She only understands words," Angela says.
For Nonverbal Learning sufferers, the brain does not compute such social cues as voice tones or body language and so on.
The result is that they come off as being rude, insensitive, uncaring and so on.
"She does not interpret anything that is not written or spoken," Angela said. "So, if you're talking to somebody and they get a little agitated or they start to roll their eyes or they're looking uncomfortable, she wouldn't get that."
The only way to improve on her condition is through counseling designed to teach the learning skills that do not come naturally.
Holly has been receiving help for the past two years and now sees both a psychologist and is involved with Bridgeway Academy, an organization that provides an academic program to students aged five to nine with learning disabilities.
"She's learning them now but you've got like 12 years of not learning them to catch up on," Angela says, of her daughter's social skills.
One of the big setbacks of the disorder is that Holly is often shunned by her peers and/or their parents and is rarely invited into their homes
"I've had calls where the parents won't allow her to their house because she's too much work," Angela says, adding that while the few friends Holly does have may want her to come their parents won't allow it "because she's different."
"She's actually in a depression again right now because the summer months have come and gone and there's been nothing. There's been no social activity."
"Frustrated, hurt, upset, mad, angry," is how Holly describes her current emotions.
"We're thinking about moving, it's that bad," she says, a sentiment shared by her mother.
After years of being accused of spoiling Holly or being over protective, the family is at their wit's end, Angela says.
They don't really want to move, however, if a way can be found to make the community aware of and understanding of the actual situation. And that is why she now wants her daughter's story told.
"I can handle it at my age," Angela says, "but for my daughter, at her age, she needs to grow up in a community that at least understands that she is not just a drama queen, she actually has a disability.
"I'm hoping that I am going to start to see a change and, response is going to be slow, but if I don't I am going to have to move. It's my last attempt at trying to stay in my community."
I must say, that after reading this article, I have to agree with Marie,,you want support from the community, but yet you make the community look as though they are all uncaring and not willing to be open minded to your childs disability? Most people probably don't know your situation, or your child. You should have written an article on educating the community and asking for their support and understanding before criticized them with something they may not even be aware of ...not a good way to get community support if you really are wanting to stay there...good luck.